How To Choose and Invest In Yourself Wisely

As the saying goes, “No man is an island.” To fulfill your destiny in life, you must find and invest your time and resources in the things and people that will help you get there. If you are going to make a difference in this life, you must get close and find out what needs your special skill set, in the same way, if you want to make a difference in someone’s life, you must get close to that person and find out about how to meet their needs before you transform their life.

You must use the methods that lead to maturity and subsequently, to productivity. We all have wishes but these do not automatically transform to the desired outcomes but by constant doing, pruning, growing, and maturing. Once you master what you need to do, you will grow in maturity and reproduce your success in the lives of others.

Your life is yours and yours alone. What you make of it is up to you, and it will go down in history as impactful or fruitless of the gifts you so freely received. The choice of who or what to invest in must be considered with utmost thought. You must set up a process that tests and refines any and everything before allowing same into your inner circle.

Here I have presented a method (feel free to adjust according to your personal style) to help your pruning and refining process.

1. Examination. As mentioned earlier, it is important that you cross-examine yourself and Find Your True Self so that you will align yourself to like-minded people and things that will propel you to your dream life. This is the most crucial step, hence, the reason it is at the top of the list. I would like to begin this with your choice of people. You have heard the saying that “You cannot choose your family, but you can choose your friends.” Here is another one “You are the average of the top five people you spend the most time with.” How about this one “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.” Ah ha, now you know why you are where you are! From the foregoing, you would agree with me that you are immensely influenced by your company, whether you are aware of this fact or not. For instance, If you associate yourself with poor (poor in this case is subjective) people, you will become poor because over 80% of what you and your friends would discuss would be things poor people talk about, the same thing as losers, gossips, people who only complain and never seek the solutions to their problems but blame every other person but themselves. On the other hand, if you befriend successful people you have better chances to become one. Winning, losing, complaining, failure, success, hate, love, is contagious. Your choices will make or mar you. You have seen how important it is to surround yourself with the type of people you wish to be like. You must, therefore, examine any and everyone who pops up in your life, do not just welcome them into your reserved space, test them against all the parameters you have set for yourself. For instance, what is his/her thought process like? How is a typical day with this person like? What type of future is this person trying to build? What are his/her belief systems, values, and principles? What is his/her purpose in life? What makes him/her thick? Only consider mingling and befriending this person if and only if all the answers to these questions align with your destination and the greater good of you both. Be careful not to be judgmental because everyone is valuable but in diverse ways and you have the free will to choose those you allow into your circle. It would be an insult to our creator for you to write someone off because they do not think like you do; be respectful and polite when you weed out the misfits.
2. Experimentation. Those whom you choose after the examination period now move to this second phase. At this phase, both parties know the core things that bring them together. This is a good stage to discuss things you would want to do and seek any collaborations. The importance of collaboration cannot be overstated, it is easy to break a stick of a broom but not a bunch. Hence, it is a win-win for those who collaborate because those who are involved bring their strengths to the table. The beauty is that another’s weakness is supplemented by the other’s strength and vice versa. The key takeaway here is to experiment and confirm your winning team.
3. Choose the best fits. Just like best friends, they are not your friends for the sake of it, but because they have proven themselves worthy. After experimentation, you should know those who deserve to be in your inner circle. Do not hesitate to call them higher, they need to know that you trust them, hold them in high esteem, and expect much from them. Do unto others what you would have them do unto you, so remember that as much as you demand, you must also give back in equal measure.
4. Remember those with whom you started. You see the human nature is very deceitful. The successful they say has many friends. When you become successful, you will be surrounded by many people who have no idea how you started and arrived at your current status. Some will come just to receive, others, to join the bandwagon and show off that they are hanging out with you, and would seek to create friction between you and your tribe. Most of these people are not committed nor loyal to what you stand for, their praises and clamor are fickle that will dwindle the moment the tides turn and your fortunes change.

Thanks for reading!

Stay Happy,

Bibobra

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Utilize The Power Of Consistency

According to research, it takes twenty-one days to form a habit. Knowing that habits translate into character and character cannot be effaced given that it is the main fabric upon which you are formed, you must give careful thoughts to the things you do on a consistent basis.

Consistency breeds productivity, and creativity as well as mastery. These can only be attained through self-discipline, determination, and your sheer will to build something that lasts.

Consistency is the achievement of a level of performance that does not change considerably in quality over time. It is required if and only if your formula is a winning one and thus improvements are recommended but not massive changes.

Be it in work-out, exercise, business, relationships, research, academics, or what have you, consistency applies in every sphere of your life if you desire excellence and success.

In this article, I will attempt to highlight the benefits of consistency and recommend clues to help you to focus on the things that you need to harness this character-building tool.

As a writer, an influencer, a Machine Learning Enthusiast, and an Engineer I know that I must balance things up to be truly happy. There were times when I was caught up in doing ML projects that I failed to write for days. The result? My creative spark and productivity with respect to writing staled, so when I resumed writing, it seemed like using a blunt sickle to harvest. It felt rusty and like I was starting this trade afresh. Recently, I started a workable daily routine which I shared in this article Building Effective Daily Routine. I use the tools “Time-Boxing” to allocate time to all my daily activities, this helps me to be accountable and consistent.

Here are some of the benefits of consistency and how you can tap into them.

1. Consistency Makes Getting Things Done Easier. If you are not in the habit of doing something, it will be difficult for you to do it. This also applies to writing, exercising, sharing your faith, meeting peoples needs, praying and reading the Bible, personal hygiene and the list goes on. Consistency is the recipe that trains your mind to adapt to the activities you repeatedly do hence, both your conscious and subconscious are in sync with what you must do. The result? Easier to begin, continue, and enjoy the bitter-sweet experiences on offer.
2. Every Situation Presents A Fresh Perspective. When you change your perspective, you invariably change your perception. Hold on a second, what is the difference between these two words? A perspective is a point of view (the lenses through which you look at things) which is affected by your level of education, upbringing, religion, political affiliation, and experiences of life. Perception, on the other hand, is the interpretation you give to things through your awareness. It is the way you understand and gain insights. Consistency helps you to do different things with the same principles while you seek improvements. These minor upgrades are only attained when you challenge the status quo and seek a new perspective.
3. Leads To High Productivity. This is simple. You don’t do it, you don’t get the results. You do little, you get little. Your output is a function of your input. So if you are not getting your desired outcome, ask yourself: have I given my best on a CONSISTENT basis to make sure that this thing works for me? The truth is that the more consistent you are at doing something, the better your chances of success. You must trust the process and persistently do what you must do to produce the results you want.
4. Consistency Guarantees Excellence. This point ties well with point number two. You are by nature striving for perfection, there is no stopping the human mind until it stops thinking. What then is the best way to attain excellence in any endeavor of life if not by consistently sticking to or improving a winning formula? The moment you stop to improve you head backwards. In life, there is no such thing as stagnation, you either progress or regress. Aristotle remarked “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Are you not getting the results you want? Is your life regressing? Are your relationships not working? Do you feel unmotivated and uninspired? Are you tired of life? Are things not making sense to you? Do you feel defeated after a major setback? Is self-doubt crawling into you?

The answers to these questions and many more are found within you. Maybe it is time for a fresh start, review your methods and add some improvements. I encourage you to take your mind and focus back, create a winning formula, and then nail it with CONSISTENCY.

Stay Happy

Bibobra

The Story Of The Two Wolves: How To Manage Your Mind

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all”

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, fear, hatred, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, happiness, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed“.

Obviously the one you feed will become your reality. The choice is yours, either you find ways to manage your mind so that you can live your life more in accordance with what your own judgment says is best for you or continue to act in ways that are unacceptable to yourself without the power to exercise self-control.

Thanks for reading!

Bibobra.

A Tale of Three Kings: Insights to Inspire Personal Growth in You

In my previous article… A Tale of Three Kings: Two Lessons to Inspire Growth in You, I highlighted two major lessons that inspired me. This is the last in this series and I hope that as you read and apply these lessons to your life you would grow and mature in your character and relationships.

Before you read further I would encourage you to read the first article and if you can afford it, buy the book. It will challenge your thought process and change your life in a good way.

Here are some of the key things I took away from the concluding part of the book:

1. David refused to cause harm to King Saul or even cause division in the kingdom. It is very easy for us to take the route of vengeance especially if we are innocent and the person in question is caught in our trap. When David and his men saw King Saul sleeping, his men saw the opportunity as a sign from God. We are quick to make assertions such as…”I have been patient with him/her and even been running away to avoid any kind of trouble but now God has delivered my enemy into my hands…thank you God, now is my turn to serve him/her the bitter pills.” David had the chance to end King Saul’s life but he chose to allow God to do it His own way, he said if God has anointed me king over Israel then at the right time He will enthrone me, I will not hasten the process. You too can imitate this noble act of David. Resist the temptation to be exactly like your adversary, refuse to be influenced negatively by those who chose to repay you evil for the good you did for them.
2. How can you remain faithful between the promise and the payoff? One funny thing about David’s life was that he was very peaceful and relatively happy before Samuel the prophet anointed him king. With the anointing came envy from King Saul and that was followed by torments, trials, and troubles seeking to kill him. What did God do? Nothing! what did David do? Nothing! David believed and trusted God one hundred percent that he would be enthroned at the appointed time even if he had to spend the entire waiting period in caves and running away. My take away from this point is that, you did not asked to be born, hence, you are here for a purpose and if you believe this, then continue to do the best you can and believe that at the right time you will be enthroned. Destiny can be delayed but it cannot be denied. Maintain a positive attitude while you wait to reap the fruits of your labor.
3. Are you willing to live through pain, or do you avoid it? This is an important question because it says a lot about your character. In my previous article 10 Character Building Quotes I highlighted some of the quotes I thought would help you to build your character, you should check it out. One of my favorite in that list is number 6: “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Seneca. David persevered through trials and difficult times. And it was times and difficulties like these that prepared him for the tasks ahead and as it is highlighted in the book, he had to draw from these experiences to handle Absalom’s rebellion. If you are going to achieve something great then expect great trials and difficulties in proportion to the size of your greatness, embrace them, learn from them, grow and mature.
4. What needs to happen to make you change your good character? At his old age, David’s son Absalom rebelled against him and divided the kingdom. He spoke about his father’s inadequacies, the injustices in the kingdom and how he would make a better king. David was once again caught up in the middle of a battle but this time, with his own son. His men saw this as an insurrection and Just as they advised him in his youth to kill King Saul, he was given the same counsel. The line was drawn between his character and to hold on to power. He had the choice to become Saul and kill Absalom and cling to power or choose his character… “raise no hand” and allow God to decide the matter as he did in the past. David’s character was impeccable, he considered the throne to be God’s, not his own to have, to take, to protect, nor to keep.  He explicitly asserted his desire for God’s will more than His blessings. When Absalom declared himself king, David did nothing…typical of David. He relinquished everything and left the palace but as always God came through and proved Himself mightily to the whole of Israel. If you wish to know how this epic story ended read the book of first and second Samuel.

So what needs to happen to make you change your good character?

How would you respond if similar things were to happen to you?

What needs to happen to put your own inner Saul to death?

Do you agree with David’s commitment to “raise no hand,” or do you find this course too passive?

When can you know when God wants you to take action and when he wants you to accept action taken against you?

Thank you for reading!

Bibobra

 

 

10 Character Building Quotes

1. “The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.”  – Socrates
2. “There is nothing permanent except change.” – Heraclitus
3. “The content of your character is your choice. Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do is who you become.” – Heraclitus
4. “You should make great things, not promising great things.” – Pythagoras
5. “Know Yourself.” – Socrates
6. “A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.” – Seneca
7. “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.” – Lao Tzu
8. “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Socrates
9.  “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle
10. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato